Posted in Health & Wellness

Weight Loss and Menopause

Let’s Talk About Weight

Let’s talk about my favorite subject: weight loss.

Or weight gain, in my experience.

Or really, weight anything, which bothers me because I was not born into a family known for being “skinny.”

Now, I don’t want to turn this into a “poor me, I’m fat” post. I also don’t want to go on a rant about why fat-shaming still seems to be acceptable in the media when apparently everyone gets offended by everything else.

And I don’t want to spend this post talking about doctors who discount plus-size people the second they look at us and decide they already know what’s wrong.

Because honestly, that one deserves its own post.

How many serious health problems were missed because a doctor looked at a number on a scale and decided that explained everything?

But this post isn’t about any of that.

It’s about my struggle.

More importantly, it’s about what I’m learning in this menopause season of life.

Menopause Is a Beast

Menopause is a beast.

And I don’t think we’ve even discovered all the ways this beast can affect a woman’s body.

One of the most obvious symptoms I’ve experienced?

Weight gain.

Now, I know all the things I could and should be doing to lose weight.

Eat better.

Move more.

Drink more water.

Sleep better.

Manage stress.

And apparently stop eating Oreos like they are part of my treatment plan.

I know all of it.

But that’s not what I want to talk about.

I want to talk about how the weight creeps up on you.

And then…

BOOM!

Fifty pounds has somehow taken up residence on your body.

Overnight.

Okay, maybe not literally overnight.

But it sure feels that way.

And the strangest part?

I didn’t feel like I was doing anything dramatically different from what I had done before.

Yet suddenly, there it was.

And getting it off?

That battle is real.

Because unlike weight loss before menopause, this feels like a battle of the mind and emotions as much as the body.

I’m no doctor, so let me be clear: I’m speaking strictly from my own experience.

Before Menopause, It Felt Simpler

Before menopause, losing weight felt like more of a decision.

Decide.

Find a plan.

Execute.

And, for the most part, my body cooperated.

I could lose weight much more easily than I can now.

Unfortunately, for me, and probably for many women my age, there’s another part of this equation that nobody seems to talk about enough.

Menopause + COVID + Life

Menopause started for me at 50.

And it happened at a particularly difficult time.

I had just lost my mom.

I changed jobs.

I changed housing.

And then…

BOOM.

COVID lockdowns.

Stay home.

No contact with family.

Little contact with the outside world.

No going into the office.

No normal routines.

Just me.

At home.

Day after day.

If women who weren’t going through menopause experienced depression, isolation, anxiety, and what everyone jokingly called the “COVID 20,” imagine what all of that did to someone whose hormones were already doing their own version of a demolition derby.

Looking back, I can see how much those circumstances affected me.

Fast-forward to now, and I’m struggling.

The One Thing I Haven’t Fully Given to God

Here’s where this gets personal.

This may be the one area of my life that I haven’t consistently taken to the Lord in prayer.

Oh, I’ve prayed about it.

Sort of.

I’ve prayed:

“Lord, please help me not eat this Oreo.”

“Lord, help me get up and walk more.”

And even:

“Lord, please make this broccoli taste more like a bite of chocolate.”

And then…

Nothing.

Well, not nothing.

It’s not that God didn’t hear me.

In fact, there are times when I can almost hear Him laughing.

Not because He doesn’t care.

But because I suspect He knows exactly what I’m doing.

I’m asking Him to help me while still trying to maintain control of the situation myself.

And He probably looks down at me and thinks, “Are we ready to surrender this yet, Vikki?”

Fair question, Lord.

So I’m Going Small

In all seriousness, I’m desperate to take this to the Lord and completely surrender it to Him.

God knows me.

He knows that big goals overwhelm me.

He knows that when I look at a giant mountain, I sometimes spend so much time staring at it that I forget to take the first step.

So here’s my plan:

Little goals.
Little movements.
Small changes.
One day at a time.

Has this all been done before?

Yes.

But two things are different this time.

Two Things I’m Doing Differently

1. I’m Done Chasing Numbers

I refuse to look at numbers anymore.

They bother me.

They discourage me.

And I’ve had enough doctors throw numbers at me along with medication recommendations designed to make those numbers fit into the ever-moving goalposts they call “normal.”

I don’t want my entire health journey reduced to a number on a scale.

I want to focus on being healthier.

Stronger.

More active.

Better nourished.

And able to do more of the things I want to do.

2. I’m Giving This Battle to God

This is the big one.

God has faithfully fought so many other battles with me.

Why I haven’t completely yielded this one to Him is honestly beyond me.

Maybe because some things I still think I can handle on my own.

But Scripture reminds us that God is our very present help in times of trouble.

And I need to remember that includes this.

Galatians 3:13 reminds us that Christ has redeemed us from the curse.

And Psalm 104:14–15 reminds us that God provides the earth with food for us to enjoy and that food brings nourishment and strength.

I love that.

There’s even a little skincare reference in there.

Apparently, God was ahead of the beauty industry, too.

I Don’t Have to Figure It All Out

Clearly, God wants to be involved in this part of my life.

And why I’ve been so reluctant to completely yield it to Him is something I’m still working through.

But I know this much:

I don’t have to figure everything out.

I don’t have to know exactly where this journey will lead.

I don’t have to have the perfect plan.

I just need to obey.

Take the next step.

Make the better choice.

Move my body.

Eat food that nourishes me.

Rest when I need to rest.

And rely on strength that isn’t my own.

My health is still good, and I’m grateful for that.

But I want to do better.

I want to be able to do more with my grandchildren.

I want to be there for them.

But more importantly, I want to do more for myself.

I want to feel stronger.

I want to move more freely.

I want to enjoy this season of my life instead of constantly fighting with my body.

And I want to stop treating my health like something I have to figure out all by myself.

So this time, I’m giving it to God.

One little goal.

One little movement.

One small change.

One obedient step at a time.

And if I mess up?

I’ll start again.

Because apparently, grace applies to diets, too.

Although, I really do wish with all my heart that somewhere in the Bible it specifically mentioned ice cream, chocolate, and cupcakes.

Because clearly, I have questions.

And I feel like Jesus and I could have worked that out.

Posted in Health & Wellness

Women’s Health for Plus-Size Women

If you’re like me, you probably thought by now some of the biggest challenges in women’s health would have been solved. Yet here we are—still talking about the same things. Honestly? I think this topic might always be on repeat. But for plus-size women, it feels a little louder, a little messier, and a lot more persistent.

And if you know me, you know I’ve already overthought this topic… probably argued with three imaginary people about it in my head… and maybe even stitched a little “fix the world” message into my latest crochet project while thinking it through. That’s just how my brain works.

Healthcare Bias: Still Alive and Kicking

Let’s start with the obvious. Weight bias in healthcare is real. It’s that feeling you get when your doctor immediately assumes every symptom is about your size—or worse, when your concerns are dismissed entirely.

I’ve had enough experiences (and overanalyzed them repeatedly, of course) to know that plus-size women often have to fight twice as hard for proper care:

  • Symptoms ignored or misattributed
  • Treatments offered without nuance
  • Judgments tucked into questions like “Have you tried losing weight?”

It’s exhausting—and it’s unacceptable. But it’s reality we still have to name, and honestly, probably will keep naming until the system catches up.

Mental Health: A Double Whammy

Now let’s talk about the mental load. For plus-size women, mental health challenges are often compounded by societal judgment. Anxiety, stress, and depression can come from real-life pressures—and the constant messaging that we “should” look different.

I overthink. I plan. I argue with strangers in my head. And somehow, that also translates into worrying about everyone else’s expectations while trying to keep myself sane.

Tips I’ve learned that actually help (even if I argue about them internally first):

  • Journaling your thoughts—even the messy, overcomplicated ones
  • Creative outlets like crochet or embroidery to calm the mind
  • Saying “no” to things that drain energy—without guilt
  • Connecting with people who get it (even if it’s just online)

Your mental health is part of your health. Full stop.

Fitness Without Shame (or Mirrors)

Exercise is essential, yes—but the culture around it often feels like it’s built for someone else’s body. Gyms, classes, and even YouTube videos frequently make plus-size women feel unwelcome.

Here’s my approach:

  • Move because it feels good, not because you feel guilty
  • Dance around your living room like no one’s watching (bonus: no mirrors required)
  • Walk your dog, chase your grandkids, or lift something heavy—honestly, that counts

It’s about showing up for your body in a way that’s sustainable, not humiliating.

Nutrition: Forget the Shame, Focus on Fuel

Diet culture is loud and exhausting. For plus-size women, it often translates into unnecessary guilt or advice that isn’t helpful.

Here’s my overthinker-approved method:

  • Eat what fuels you, not what shames you
  • Include vegetables, protein, healthy fats, and yes… even treats
  • Listen to your hunger and fullness cues, not a number on a scale

Your health is about strength, energy, and living fully—not about punishing yourself for the body you already have.

Access and Equipment: Still Not Standard

This one might surprise people. Many clinics, hospitals, and even fitness spaces aren’t equipped to accommodate plus-size bodies comfortably. Chairs, exam tables, or blood pressure cuffs that don’t fit may seem small, but they matter.

It’s a reminder that the systems we rely on still need updating—and we, plus-size women, are often the ones reminding them to get it right.

Why We’ll Keep Talking About This

Here’s the truth: plus-size women’s health challenges are ongoing, and we’ll likely keep revisiting them. The bias exists. Access is uneven. Fitness culture can be exclusive. Mental health struggles are real. And diet culture? Don’t even get me started.

This is a topic that will probably always be on repeat—but that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. The more we talk about it, the more we advocate, the more visible we are, the closer we get to real change.

Final Thoughts: Health, Respect, and a Little Humor

Being a plus-size woman shouldn’t make health complicated—or judgmental. Yes, there are challenges. Yes, society has some catching up to do. But here’s what I know:

  • Our health matters.
  • Our mental health matters.
  • Our bodies deserve respect, care, and movement that makes us feel good.
  • And sometimes, saving the world looks like crocheting a blanket while thinking about policies, care access, and self-love all at the same time.

We’ll probably keep revisiting these challenges, but that’s okay. Awareness, advocacy, and humor are all part of the superpower we bring to the table.

Posted in Health & Wellness

Until I’m Skinny Enough to Deserve Treatment

I’ve lived most of my adult life in the uncomfortable intersection of womanhood and size. Every doctor’s appointment, every lab test, every routine checkup carries with it a quiet but unmistakable message: “Until I’m skinny enough, my health concerns aren’t serious.” And if I’m being honest, that message has shaped not just how I feel about my body, but how I feel about seeking care at all.

Walking into a medical office as a plus-size woman is like stepping onto a stage where I’ve already been judged. Before a single symptom is addressed, I know that assumptions will be made, advice will be given, and my experiences will be filtered through the lens of my size. And after years of this, the anxiety it breeds has become almost unbearable.

Every Visit Starts the Same Way

It doesn’t matter what issue brings me into the office. A lingering ache in my knees? Fatigue that never lifts? Digestive issues? Even these can’t escape the gravitational pull of weight bias. I’ve been told, more times than I can count, that if I just lost weight, all my problems would disappear. Sometimes this comes gently, sometimes as a directive. Either way, the effect is the same: my symptoms are diminished, my experiences dismissed, my body blamed before my voice is heard.

And it’s exhausting. The mental preparation for each visit, the internal debate about whether it’s “worth it” to face judgment again, has caused me to avoid care altogether at times. The fear of walking into that room, of being met with assumptions and subtle condescension, is overwhelming.

The Mental Health Toll

Living under this constant scrutiny has affected more than my physical health. It has chipped away at my mental well-being. I feel an underlying anxiety every time I think about needing medical care. It’s a strange mix of fear, frustration, and self-doubt. I question whether my concerns are valid enough to raise, whether my body is “worthy” of attention, and whether seeking help will simply lead to judgment.

This anxiety doesn’t stay at the clinic door. It follows me home. It colors the way I think about my body, my health, and even my daily choices. When the system that’s supposed to protect you starts to feel like a threat, it’s impossible not to feel vulnerable, powerless, and alone.

Health Shouldn’t Be Conditional

The cruel irony is that weight does not define wellness. Conditions like thyroid disorders, diabetes, polycystic ovary syndrome, cardiovascular issues, and even chronic fatigue affect women of all sizes. Yet, for plus-size women, the default explanation is always the same: your weight is the problem.

This approach isn’t just dismissive—it’s dangerous. When doctors focus on size rather than symptoms, testing is delayed, treatment is postponed, and serious health issues can go unnoticed. Preventive screenings, which could save lives, are sometimes avoided or inadequately administered because equipment or assumptions fail to accommodate larger bodies. Health should not be a reward for shrinking. It should be a right, available to all, right now.

The Emotional Labor of Advocacy

Over the years, I’ve had to become my own advocate in a system that often feels designed to overlook me. I’ve learned to ask questions, insist on tests, and push for proper evaluation. I’ve had to insist that my symptoms are legitimate and that my health matters. But the emotional labor required for this is immense. Every visit takes energy, courage, and mental fortitude—energy I wish I could spend on healing instead of defending my existence.

I know I’m not alone in this. Thousands of plus-size women navigate the same bias daily, negotiating a healthcare system that seems to care more about the size of our bodies than the complexity of our symptoms. This isn’t about vanity. It’s about survival, dignity, and justice.

Reframing What Health Means

I’ve had to reframe my understanding of health and self-worth. Health is not a number on a scale. It is function, wellness, emotional resilience, and the ability to live a fulfilling life. My body deserves care not because it meets societal standards, but because it is mine—and because I am worthy of attention, compassion, and respect.

Even when the system fails, I’ve learned to advocate, speak out, and refuse to internalize blame. I’ve connected with supportive providers, therapists, and communities that understand size-inclusive care. I’ve discovered that acknowledging my worth is a radical act in a world that too often equates thinness with legitimacy.

Moving Toward Change

Change will not happen overnight, but it starts with awareness. Healthcare professionals must confront their biases, listen without judgment, and provide care that is evidence-based rather than assumption-driven. Clinics need equipment, resources, and protocols that accommodate all bodies.

And patients like me must continue to advocate—not just for ourselves, but for every woman who has felt invisible or dismissed. By sharing our experiences, by insisting on proper treatment, and by refusing to let our health be conditional, we can challenge the harmful systems that have persisted for far too long.

Conclusion: Health Without Conditions

For decades, I’ve faced the implicit message: “Until you’re skinny enough, your health concerns don’t matter.” But I refuse to believe that my size determines my right to care. Every woman deserves treatment, compassion, and attention—without judgment, without delay, and without preconditions.

We deserve to walk into a clinic and know our voices will be heard, our concerns validated, and our bodies respected. Until that becomes the standard, we continue to share our stories, advocate fiercely, and demand a healthcare system that sees us—exactly as we are.

Because health should never be conditional. It should always be a right.

Photo by Shaun Meintjes on Unsplash

Posted in Health & Wellness

Brain Fog, Hot Flashes & Other Fun Midlife Surprises

I’m in year three of menopause madness, and let me tell you—it’s like my body staged a hostile takeover and forgot to leave a welcome mat.

It’s not fun.
It’s not helpful.
It’s not easy.

I’m hot. I’m emotional. I’m forgetful. I’m irritated… a lot. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone—somewhere out there, another woman is fanning herself while crying over lost car keys or screaming at the dog for no reason.

I’ve survived—or at least fought back—against the top five menopause symptoms. Sometimes my weapon of choice is chocolate. Sometimes it’s prayer. Sometimes it’s sheer stubbornness. And yes, sometimes I combine all three and call it a victory. Here’s how I’ve been slaying the beast… or at least beating her back when I need a chocolate bribe.

1. Hot Flashes: Spontaneous Combustion Happens

Hot flashes hit without warning. One second I’m sitting calmly, the next I feel like I’ve been microwaved alive. If spontaneous combustion were real, menopause would be the poster child.

I’ve wrestled with family members over the thermostat, cursed summer in every language I know, and considered moving to Antarctica.

Here’s my arsenal:

  • Cold water—I drink it like it’s an Olympic sport.
  • Light clothing—tanks, tees, and occasionally the tiniest whisper of dignity.
  • Fans—my ceiling fan runs 24/7 in high gear, and I’m not apologizing.
  • Cool showers—especially before bed. They save my sanity and my sheets.
  • Cornstarch powder—sounds bizarre, works miracles. Moisture doesn’t stand a chance.

“A gentle answer turns away wrath.” — Proverbs 15:1
Especially when someone dares touch the thermostat.

2. Emotional Rollercoaster: Cry, Rage, Laugh (All Before Breakfast)

Menopause hits like a silent scream that won’t quit. I cry, rage, and laugh—all before breakfast. Everything irritates me. Nothing feels right. The smallest frustrations feel like full-blown betrayals. Midlife crisis? More like menopause crisis.

Here’s how I survive the emotional chaos:

  • Take it to God. Ugly tears, loud prayers, honest hearts—it works.
  • Keep perspective. Bad moment ≠ bad life.
  • Laugh. Blogs, memes, articles written by other menopausal women remind me I’m not alone… just hormonally enhanced.
  • Talk to family. I lean on my sisters—they get it, and their patience is saintly.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” — 1 Peter 5:7
“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning.” — Psalm 30:5

3. Brain Fog: Hide-and-Seek With Your Own Thoughts

My brain plays hide-and-seek and never tells me when it’s done. I used to feel sharp, clear, unstoppable. Now, words vanish mid-sentence. Thoughts hide in corners. I forget things I know I know. I once spent ten minutes looking for my glasses… while they were on my head.

Here’s what keeps me functional:

  • Stay calm. Panicking only thickens the fog.
  • Journal. Capture fleeting thoughts before menopause claims them forever.
  • Use a calendar. If it’s important, ink it in. No exceptions.

“God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.” — 1 Corinthians 14:33
“If any of you lacks wisdom, ask God.” — James 1:5

4. Weight Gain: My Body Went Rogue

I’ve always had a waist, plus-size or not. Then menopause hit. Now my hourglass has morphed into a more… grape-like shape. Nobody seems to make clothes for it. And jeans? Don’t get me started.

How I cope:

  • Grace first. Often served with chocolate or pasta, because boundaries exist but chocolate is essential.
  • Hydrate. Water, water, water—even when it’s freezing outside.
  • Vegetables. I’m trying for one with every meal. So far, I’ve succeeded… sometimes.
  • Movement. 2026 is my “get up and move” year. Walk, stretch, repeat. Hopefully, sweat and chocolate can coexist.

“Man looks at outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” — 1 Samuel 16:7
“My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit.” — 1 Corinthians 6:19

(A well-loved, well-used temple.)

5. Aches and Pains: Menopause or Impending Doom?

Every twinge brings panic: menopause or urgent care? My knees, hips, and back like to remind me they’re aging gracefully—or maybe just testing my patience.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

  • Ignore Dr. Google. Doom and gloom are one search away.
  • Find a doctor who listens. They’re rare, but worth the hunt.
  • Rest and movement. Yes, both. Balance is key.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3

A Few Final Weapons

Some medications help women survive menopause. If you trust your doctor, follow their guidance. I take a more holistic path, leaning on family, humor, and chocolate when necessary.

My family’s patience and love deserve medals. I hope to repay them someday, but for now, they help me survive this beast.

Most importantly, give yourself grace. Communicate. Ask for help. Celebrate small victories. Grieve the season ending, and make room for the next.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1

Menopause is wild. It’s weird. It’s exhausting. It’s annoying.

But light exists at the end of the hot-flash tunnel. And someday—gasp!—growing old gracefully might actually feel good. Chocolate optional, but highly recommended.

Photo by Skyler Ewing on Unsplash
Posted in Health & Wellness

Faith Over Fear: Keeping Mentally Healthy in Today’s World

Everywhere I look—online, in comment sections, in “art,” in think pieces, in endless rants—I see fear dressing itself up as righteousness and anger masquerading as concern for the world.

People claim they’re terrified about the state of things. They say their mental health suffers. They say they feel overwhelmed, exhausted, and anxious.

And then they point fingers. They blame this political party. Or that one. Conservatives. Liberals. “The other side.” Labels fly around like paper at a ticket tape parade.

Outrage as Performance

They post nonstop. They wield their talents not to clarify, calm, or illuminate—but to shout, insult, mock, and divide. They call it “speaking out,” but it functions as little more than venting rage. They share half-stories without context, half-truths without accountability, opinions soaked in fear and contempt.

And then they say, “let’s just be kind.”

If you agree with them, you join the misery club. If you don’t, they shame you, attack you, and label you.

Let’s be honest: this isn’t about justice. It’s about outrage addiction. And it’s exhausting.

Politics as a False Foundation

Here’s the hard truth people resist: they feel miserable, angry, and fearful because they put their hope in politics—and politics will always fail them.

I want to be very clear: I haven’t celebrated every election outcome. I haven’t always liked who got elected. I’ve worried about policies, priorities, and leadership.

But here’s what I did differently:

  • I didn’t let fear control my life.
  • I didn’t let anger consume my witness.
  • I didn’t weaponize my art, my voice, or my platform.

Why? Because of Jesus.

Taking My Anxiety to God

When President Biden took office, he wasn’t my choice. I admit I spiraled—I read article after article, obsessed over policies I disagreed with, feared where our country was headed.

I felt anxious. Frustrated. Afraid.

Then one day, while walking, I brought it all to God—not to social media, not to comment sections, not to people who might validate my emotions. I went straight to God.

And in that quiet moment, God spoke clearly:

“Vikki, why are you fearful? I am still God. I am still on the throne. You have two jobs: put ALL your faith in Me, and pray for those in power.”

It wasn’t gentle. It was corrective. And it hit hard.

Trusting God, Not Politics

God didn’t ask who I voted for. He didn’t ask if I agreed with every policy. He didn’t ask me to fret over the future. He reminded me who He is.

So I obeyed. I prayed for my president—whether I liked him or not, whether I agreed with him or not, whether I trusted his decisions or not.

Because my trust never belonged in a person or party. My trust always belongs in God.

Once I embraced that truth, fear lost its grip. I knew God had me if taxes rose, if policies passed against my values, if the cost of living increased, if the world felt unstable. God had me then. God has me now. God will always have me.

Life Without Jesus Leaves Fear in Charge

That is not denial. That is faith.

Here’s a truth many resist: the problem isn’t who sits in the Oval Office. The problem is trying to navigate a broken world without Jesus. Life without Him will always feel overwhelming, unstable, and produce fear, anger, and despair—no matter which party holds power.

If your peace rises and falls with election results, your foundation is wrong.
If your joy disappears every four years, your hope is misplaced.
If your mental health collapses whenever a politician speaks, politics has become your god.

Presidents will fail you. Governments will disappoint you. Policies will change. Leaders will lie. Power will shift.

But Jesus Christ remains on the throne.

True Peace Comes from Jesus

He ruled before any president. He rules before any political party. He will rule long after every name we argue over fades into history.

True peace does not depend on the right candidate winning. True security does not depend on the right laws being passed. True fulfillment does not depend on shouting louder than the other side.

It comes from knowing Jesus. Everything else will eventually let you down.

And that’s not political commentary—that’s eternal truth.

Photo by Katie Moum on Unsplash