Posted in Crochet

A Blanket with Purpose

There’s something deeply satisfying about making a crochet blanket that doesn’t begin with a grand plan—but instead with a simple intention: use what you have.

That’s exactly how this blanket came to life.

The Yarn-Eater I Needed

I chose the waffle stitch for this project, fully aware of its reputation. It’s a yarn eater—no question about it. But honestly, that’s what drew me to it. I wasn’t trying to conserve yarn or stretch skeins. I wanted the opposite. I wanted to use it up. Every last bit of it.

This blanket was made with a 5.0 mm hook and about 6–7 skeins of Red Heart Bitty Stripes in the color Rainbow. There’s something playful and comforting about that colorway—soft transitions, gentle brightness, nothing too loud but still full of life.

And stitch by stitch, row by row, it came together.

Slow Making in a Fast World

In total, I completed 34 rows of waffle stitch. Not rushed. Not forced. Just… made.

This wasn’t one of those projects where I set deadlines or felt the pressure to “finish.” Instead, I worked on it over a couple of months, picking it up when I felt like it and setting it down without guilt when I didn’t.

That alone felt like a quiet act of rebellion.

Because let’s be honest—everything around us pushes for faster, more, now. But this blanket? It asked for patience. It demanded presence. And in return, it gave me something I didn’t realize I needed: permission to slow down.

Evenings Well Spent

More often than not, this blanket grew in the evenings.

Curled up, a cozy corner claimed, with a British show playing in the background—preferably a good mystery. There’s just something about the rhythm of a well-told story paired with the repetition of crochet stitches. It settles the mind in a way scrolling never does.

And speaking of that…

Choosing Creativity Over Scrolling

One of my personal goals lately has been to be more creative and less consumed by my phone. It’s not easy. The pull is strong, and the habit is real.

However, projects like this help.

Each time I chose to pick up my hook instead of my phone, I was choosing something tangible. Something lasting. Something that required me to be present rather than distracted.

Not perfectly. Not every time. But more than before—and that counts.

What Comes Next?

Now that it’s finished, I find myself wondering what this blanket’s story will become.

I may gift it. I may sell it at a craft fair this summer or fall. And if I’m being honest, the idea of selling at a fair feels like stepping into completely unknown territory. I know nothing about it—but maybe that’s part of the appeal.

A new experience. A new challenge. A new way to share something handmade with someone who might love it as much as I loved making it.

More Than Just a Blanket

At the end of the day, this isn’t just a crochet blanket.

It’s a reminder.

A reminder that not everything has to be rushed.
That using what you already have can be enough.
That creativity doesn’t need perfection—it just needs space.

And maybe most importantly, it’s proof that even in small, quiet ways, we can choose differently. We can choose slower. We can choose intentional. We can choose to make something with our hands instead of just consuming with our minds.

So whether this blanket ends up draped over someone’s couch, gifted to someone I love, or folded neatly on a table at my very first craft fair—it has already served its purpose.

It brought me back to the simple joy of creating.

And that, more than anything, is enough.

Photo by @vikkilynnstitches. All rights reserved.
Posted in Faith, Food and Forward Steps

Until I’m Skinny Enough to Deserve Treatment

I’ve lived most of my adult life in the uncomfortable intersection of womanhood and size. Every doctor’s appointment, every lab test, every routine checkup carries with it a quiet but unmistakable message: “Until I’m skinny enough, my health concerns aren’t serious.” And if I’m being honest, that message has shaped not just how I feel about my body, but how I feel about seeking care at all.

Walking into a medical office as a plus-size woman is like stepping onto a stage where I’ve already been judged. Before a single symptom is addressed, I know that assumptions will be made, advice will be given, and my experiences will be filtered through the lens of my size. And after years of this, the anxiety it breeds has become almost unbearable.

Every Visit Starts the Same Way

It doesn’t matter what issue brings me into the office. A lingering ache in my knees? Fatigue that never lifts? Digestive issues? Even these can’t escape the gravitational pull of weight bias. I’ve been told, more times than I can count, that if I just lost weight, all my problems would disappear. Sometimes this comes gently, sometimes as a directive. Either way, the effect is the same: my symptoms are diminished, my experiences dismissed, my body blamed before my voice is heard.

And it’s exhausting. The mental preparation for each visit, the internal debate about whether it’s “worth it” to face judgment again, has caused me to avoid care altogether at times. The fear of walking into that room, of being met with assumptions and subtle condescension, is overwhelming.

The Mental Health Toll

Living under this constant scrutiny has affected more than my physical health. It has chipped away at my mental well-being. I feel an underlying anxiety every time I think about needing medical care. It’s a strange mix of fear, frustration, and self-doubt. I question whether my concerns are valid enough to raise, whether my body is “worthy” of attention, and whether seeking help will simply lead to judgment.

This anxiety doesn’t stay at the clinic door. It follows me home. It colors the way I think about my body, my health, and even my daily choices. When the system that’s supposed to protect you starts to feel like a threat, it’s impossible not to feel vulnerable, powerless, and alone.

Health Shouldn’t Be Conditional

The cruel irony is that weight does not define wellness. Conditions like thyroid disorders, diabetes, polycystic ovary syndrome, cardiovascular issues, and even chronic fatigue affect women of all sizes. Yet, for plus-size women, the default explanation is always the same: your weight is the problem.

This approach isn’t just dismissive—it’s dangerous. When doctors focus on size rather than symptoms, testing is delayed, treatment is postponed, and serious health issues can go unnoticed. Preventive screenings, which could save lives, are sometimes avoided or inadequately administered because equipment or assumptions fail to accommodate larger bodies. Health should not be a reward for shrinking. It should be a right, available to all, right now.

The Emotional Labor of Advocacy

Over the years, I’ve had to become my own advocate in a system that often feels designed to overlook me. I’ve learned to ask questions, insist on tests, and push for proper evaluation. I’ve had to insist that my symptoms are legitimate and that my health matters. But the emotional labor required for this is immense. Every visit takes energy, courage, and mental fortitude—energy I wish I could spend on healing instead of defending my existence.

I know I’m not alone in this. Thousands of plus-size women navigate the same bias daily, negotiating a healthcare system that seems to care more about the size of our bodies than the complexity of our symptoms. This isn’t about vanity. It’s about survival, dignity, and justice.

Reframing What Health Means

I’ve had to reframe my understanding of health and self-worth. Health is not a number on a scale. It is function, wellness, emotional resilience, and the ability to live a fulfilling life. My body deserves care not because it meets societal standards, but because it is mine—and because I am worthy of attention, compassion, and respect.

Even when the system fails, I’ve learned to advocate, speak out, and refuse to internalize blame. I’ve connected with supportive providers, therapists, and communities that understand size-inclusive care. I’ve discovered that acknowledging my worth is a radical act in a world that too often equates thinness with legitimacy.

Moving Toward Change

Change will not happen overnight, but it starts with awareness. Healthcare professionals must confront their biases, listen without judgment, and provide care that is evidence-based rather than assumption-driven. Clinics need equipment, resources, and protocols that accommodate all bodies.

And patients like me must continue to advocate—not just for ourselves, but for every woman who has felt invisible or dismissed. By sharing our experiences, by insisting on proper treatment, and by refusing to let our health be conditional, we can challenge the harmful systems that have persisted for far too long.

Conclusion: Health Without Conditions

For decades, I’ve faced the implicit message: “Until you’re skinny enough, your health concerns don’t matter.” But I refuse to believe that my size determines my right to care. Every woman deserves treatment, compassion, and attention—without judgment, without delay, and without preconditions.

We deserve to walk into a clinic and know our voices will be heard, our concerns validated, and our bodies respected. Until that becomes the standard, we continue to share our stories, advocate fiercely, and demand a healthcare system that sees us—exactly as we are.

Because health should never be conditional. It should always be a right.

Photo by Shaun Meintjes on Unsplash