Overcoming the Prayer Struggle

Do you struggle with praying? Do you get discouraged with thoughts of not doing it “right”. 

I sure have!

Trying to pray “the right way” is something I’ve struggled with all my life. Initially, I thought prayer was boring. Sitting in a room, timer on the table, list on front of me of stuff I had to pray for.

I believed prayer was for results, not relationship.

When praying in a group, I would break out in hives at the idea of being called upon to pray aloud. I felt I wasn’t good enough to pray or I didn’t have the right words to pray or I didn’t know enough of the Word to pray. Comparing myself to Sister Sally Sue who got at least 5 rounds of solid “amens” when she prayed. I would pray more to hear a “yes, Jesus” just to prove I wasn’t a bad pray-er.

And of course, Satan used this over and over, repeatedly telling me, “See, you’re not as good as they are. They know the Word and you don’t. God loves them more than you.” 

I know I’m not the only one who’s experienced this! How many of you feel trapped in that? How many of you have been lied to into not praying? 

The good news is this can be overcome. A small group of women at my last church humanized the idea of prayer for me. They lived out the relationship part so well that I found myself wanting to pray. I wanted the intimacy of knowing God so personally.

And guess what? When they prayed, it wasn’t perfect. They stumbled over their words, they stopped to gather their thoughts, they laughed and cried and even said the word, “um” once or twice. Their imperfection encouraged me. If these who knew the Word so much more than I did prayed so humanly, then so could I!

So here’s a few things I did to overcome my shyness about praying.  I hope these ideas help you into a praying relationship with God.

1. Read the Word. If prayer is a conversation, then we must know the One we are conversing with. Knowing who God is and what He’s about helps us to understand more of what the conversation will be like. John 1:1 says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” 
2. Ask God to help you pray. God’s Word is all we need to get help in every situation, including prayer. John 14:13 encourages us to ask for help. It states, “Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do…” So if you need help knowing how to pray, just speak that verse and relate it to prayer. 
3. Be yourself. This is probably the most important one. I fell into the comparison trap and lost precious time with God. I tried to copy the prayer style of others. God knows all about you. He wants a relationship with you on a one-on-one level. There’s nothing we can hide from Him. 
4. Start simple. You do not need to thee and thou your conversation with God. He knows you! He wants to hear from YOU! If you’re stuck on where to start, just thank Him for who He is and all He’s done for you. The rest will follow, I promise! 
5. Be honest and real. When my mom died, I went to God and let Him know I didn’t understand Him or His plan in this. I was so upset and in so much pain. I cried out to Him out of complete fear and anger. God was a total gentleman and He said, “Vikki, I hear you. I love you. I won’t leave you. You can either move forward with me, or without me. With me will be so much better but the choice is yours.” (Yes, God is that real with me!)

There are days when I start out in prayer. There are days when I end in prayer. There are also days when I pray little prayers all day. I don’t always quote the Word back to Him or remind Him of His promises to me, although that’s a great way to pray. Sometimes, I talk to Him as a wife would to a husband and sometimes, I talk with Him as a daughter would to her father. Most often, I talk with Him like the best friend I know Him to be. But I do talk with Him each day.

Getting to know God through prayer is pretty cool, if you think about it. The Bible educates us about God but prayer brings about the intimacy of the relationship. 

So without fear, I encourage you. Find your spot. Get your cup of coffee. Grab your blanket. And talk with Jesus. I guarantee you, friend – Jesus cannot wait to hear from you! 

Let me know in the comments how it goes. I’m praying for you!