Tag: seasonal depression

Posted in Moments and Musings

Out of Darkness and Into the Light

Posted on by Vikki Lynn Sorensen

We made it! Daylight savings time has begun and this girl doesn’t even mind losing an hour of sleep for more daylight.

Like many others, I tend to suffer from some seasonal depression. I had hoped to head it off at the pass by doing some extra holiday celebrating, watching my diet, being more active, journaling – I had a whole laundry list of things I planned to do to stave off the winter blues.

It didn’t go so well.

I did do some extra Christmas celebrating but much of the season was spent alone. Sometimes, I think I go through this stuff to give me perspective and create some empathy. I’m not very good at keeping in touch with people yet I know there are folks who also were lonely during these past holidays and I did nothing to alleviate that. Perhaps, I’ll do better next time around.

I did watch my diet….go right down the drain. Boredom drove it. Too much alone time begets too much boredom time which begets the consumption of way too much chocolate. All delivered by multiple Walmart delivery drivers who, I’m sure, gathering in hushed places to pray against me putting in another order.

I did journal. Some handwritten scribbles in a small journal that I keep. Each entry ended with the number of days until the next exciting event in my life.

Oh, it wasn’t as bad as all that!

January brought us some nice snow storms and an ice storm, which was fun. I learned the new meaning of anxiety driving in those.

Speaking of…when did I get to be so afraid of driving in the snow. I’M FROM CHICAGO!!!! I learned to drive in the snow. I managed my first ice storm driving from the north side of the city to Schaumburg. It took four hours but my mother sat alongside me and coached me the whole way. Somehow, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve understood the financial impact accompanying the phrase “car accident” and a few drops of moisture on the road means this girl stays home.

Thank God I work from home!

February started out really icy. I mean double digits below zero icy. Lots of tea and hot chocolate were consumed. Lots of coffee, too. I went into sort of a hibernation, on the couch, underneath covers with only my hands free to type enabling me to keep my job.

But then it got warm. Really warm. Not turn-my-AC-on warm (almost, though – if only I wasn’t too lazy to clean it!) but warm enough to turn on my fan and pull out a pair of shorts and a tank top. I wasn’t ready for this! I mean, I still need to mow down the winter forest growth on my legs that kept me warm all winter! Percy, my little canine heater, couldn’t understand why I didn’t want him sleeping up against me.

Too warm for February!!

And by the way, people in the north who cry over cold weather and snow in February should have their heads examined – it’s February. Winter! It’s supposed to be cold and it’s supposed to snow! What it’s not supposed to do is get up to 70+ degrees!

Sheesh!

Even the tulips outside the main doors to my apartment building began emerging from the ground. I wanted to throw a blanket over them and say, “wait, little ones! It’s not time yet! Too early!” but they continued to wriggle their way into the world.

They’re half grown now and I expect buds any day.

February’s exit confused me. The unseasonal warmth brought too much hope and too much wanting for Spring. The bright, sunshiny days lifted my seasonally dreary spirits and I began to think strange thoughts like, “Today is great day for a nice long walk”. Well, strange for this couch potato body, anyway.

Ah well. One thing I did do well during this dark season was create. That was on my list. I made blanket after blanket after blanket. I tried new recipes, some were hits and a few were misses. I journaled ideas and plotted and planned and even rediscovered my love for embroidery.

So the season wasn’t a total loss.

If I’m being serious, it wasn’t a loss at all. All this quiet time and alone time has given me perspective. To say the season was a loss would mean I’m ungrateful which I’m not at all. Everything has a reason and a season and I always love to see what God does through and with it all. He’s just the best ever!

However…WE MADE IT!!! Daylight savings is here! Light is here! Days are longer! Tulips can grow! And yes, I’ll shave my legs before I put shorts on again and I will take that long walk!

SPRING FORWARD!

Photo by Jitendra Sharma on Unsplash

Posted in Moments and Musings

Time To Change

Posted on by Vikki Lynn Sorensen

The time change is coming. Turning back the clocks, gaining that one precious hour of sleep if only for one night. We’ll pay for it come the Spring but for now, every one looks forward to that one glorious hour. It’s an important thing, this hour.

It’s that hour that pulls the darkness of the winter forward pushing back the light. In the darkness, the earth will reset itself. It’s a quiet, reflective time. Time to rest, stay indoors and just breathe. Time for hot chocolate, cinnamon tea, soft blankets and cozy fires.

For me, I both love and dread this time. I require light and a lot of it. For years, I’ve struggled with a bit of seasonal depression. It’s a slight feeling of gloominess. Fall beauty starts to fade, giving way to a colorless, monochromatic time. Evenings become a little harder to get through than in other seasons. I find, as I get older, that I’m more of a skylark than a night owl.

This year will be different than others that have gone by. The menopause blues like to have a swipe at me now and again. And with my younger daughter married and living three hours away and my other daughter working an overnight job, I’m alone…a lot! Add that plus a time change to the menopause blues and it’s a triple whammy ending in many tear filled evenings.

But I recognize all this so I decided to do somethings to try to head this all off at the pass.

  1. More movement – I really don’t like walking around my beautiful little lake because there’s bugs and there’s snakes. Not poisonous but they’re there and I’m good staying away. So I bought a hula dancing DVD. I needed something that would be good for me but also be fun. I may look for more dance DVDs. I’m sure I’ll look like a buffoon but I’ll be up, I’ll be moving and I’ll be having fun.
  2. Journaling – I’m back to it and it makes me happy to write down my thoughts and feelings. It also helps me to look back and see how far I’ve come.
  3. Bible Study – This is a no brainer. More God, more peace. I remember when my mom passed and I sat down on my bed, dejected and said, “Ok, God, I cry ‘uncle’.” God immediately spoke to my heart and said, “Stop crying ‘uncle’ and start crying Father.” He is the great encourager and I go to a church full of happy, imperfect people. I plan to be one of them.
  4. Celebrate the season – I mentioned earlier this is the time of the year when the earth resets itself. I’m determined to do the same. Reflect more. Go deeper. Let go. Seek to find. God is in every season.
  5. Create – I find I’m more contented when I’m creating something. Crochet isn’t just the means to another blanket in the house; it’s the process of allowing my hands to do something other than eat while my brain engages in a different way. I look at the world a little differently. I overcome the habit of perfection when I’m crafting.
  6. Call – As in pick up the phone and call people. More conversations mean less loneliness.
  7. Enjoy My Food – I don’t subscribe to a diet. I never have and never will. Food is to be enjoyed. Plain and simple. I’m going to experiment with new recipes and new techniques using my hands, like bread making.
  8. Light My Home – I love candles. All kinds of candles. And I love candle holders. Bright, crystal or glass holders that reflect the light from the candle. And while I use flameless candles, my preference is real candles. (Unscented, please)
  9. Selfcare – I really think all the above is selfcare in one form or another. But some things I’d like to be more intentional about. Giving myself a facial, or a manicure. Something that makes me feel pretty.
  10. Hallmark Christmas Movies – Too early? That’s ok. They’re full of cheese and ever so predictable but each one puts a smile on my face and makes me happy. It helps me to focus on all that’s ahead, like lights, color, family, food and giving.

The very last, and probably most important, thing I’ll do is remember that this is only a season. It’s not forever. Like every season, it will end and a new one will be welcomed. Also, like every season, it has a purpose and definition.

So tell me – do you love or strongly dislike this time of year when the days grow shorter and darker? Or are you indifferent? Do you celebrate anything special, outside of the obvious? What does any change of season look like to you?

Photo by Emanuel Ekström on Unsplash

Posted in Moments and Musings

The Counting Downs of A Day

Posted on by Vikki Lynn Sorensen

Today was day full of failure. It’s ok. They happen. My plan was to fall apart as soon as I logged off from work but instead, I decided that it’s just a day. Like many that have passed (and I’ve survived) and like many more to come.

Instead, I took a shower. I took a walk with the dog. I made some dinner (egg and cheese in a tortilla) and had another cup of tea. I drank all my water. And I chose to write down all the good days ahead and how much longer I have to wait for them.

2 more days until my 6 day weekend/staycation. I do this every year around my birthday to relax a bit before the hustle and bustle of the holidays begin.

4 more days until my baby girl, Emilie, comes home for a visit. It will be just a short weekend visit but I’ll get to see her face and hug her neck.

7 more days of being 54 left. I know 55 will be so much better and filled with so much good. There is more!

29 days to Halloween. Probably my least favorite of the October/November/December season but Shelby loves it and the apartment looks so festive.

34 days left of daylight savings time. As someone who regularly suffers from seasonal depression, I’ve decided to face this season head on. Embrace the quiet of it. Let my soul simmer a while.

52 days until Thanksgiving. I always have a vision in my head of what this will look like and each year, it almost never happens that way. It always makes me miss my mother.

83 days until Christmas Eve. With just Shelby and I in the apartment, this is looking to be quiet. Christmas morning will be quiet also. If I’m honest, I enjoy the Christmas season way more than I enjoy Christmas Day.

90 days left of 2023. I know 2024 will bring us a new home but who knows what else and I’m excited for it all.

298 days until we move, at the most. Of course, we hope to move sooner. We shall see. God has that all in His very capable hands.

All in all, from now until the end of the year, there are eight special happenings taking place. And that’s not counting the birthday celebrations.

Like a medicine, the rest of the day is looking up.

Photo by Manasvita S on Unsplash