Posted in Moments and Musings

Be Light

Whenever something tragic happens, I try very hard to find the right words to say. Folks on social media are always talking in loud, screaming voices but mine is often never heard. 

That’s because I usually just choose to stay silent. I don’t want to offend anyone. I have people I love who believe all sorts of things so I don’t say much except to tell myself that I’ll just pray for the situation and that will be enough. 

It’s not enough though. Not anymore. I’m sick of being silent. 

Last night, we lost a young man. A father. A husband. A son and who knows what else Charlie Kirk was the people he surrounded himself with. 

I want to respond to this. I want to say something more than “I’m praying for the Kirk family” because that doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Like many others, I’ve looked at social media. Not for inspiration, mind you, but perhaps I just want to see what others are saying. I want to know there’s still some good in this world when proof of evil is so evident. 

Thankfully, I seen an outpouring of love. But I’ve also seen a lot that hurts my soul. Comments like, “karma…” and posting about how the far right supposedly reacted when so-and-so was killed. It’s as if to say “the Kirk family doesn’t deserve compassion. They deserve just what they got so why should we care”. 

It would be so easy for me to react emotionally to this. For me to remind them of a time when someone they loved was ripped away from them leaving us all to deal with the shock and awe of an unexpected death. It would be easy to say, “if that’s how you feel, unfriend/unfollow me”. I’ve heard many say that also.

But that wasn’t what Charlie Kirk was about. Moreover, it certainly isn’t what Jesus is about. 

Jesus is all about love. But make no mistake, some of us don’t understand what that means. Jesus didn’t love us the way some “churches” teach about love. He loved us enough not to tickle our ears with false words of comfort, or watered-down religion that cherry picks through the words of the Father so as not to offend. 

No, that’s not Jesus. 

He came to turn the tables over. He came to uninstall puffed up religion and install the hardware called a very real relationship with the Father. He came to replace outdated software with the Bible. And it’s not The Bible 2.0, or the new and improved version. The Word of God was never meant to change with the times. It’s not going to. Not ever. The Word of God is the same yesterday, today and forever. Fact!

Jesus came to be lifted up on a cross of love. It was the love the Father had for us that held Jesus there ever so much more than nails. It’s a love we cannot hope to ever understand with our mortal minds. It’s a love that requires trust and surrender. Everything Jesus ever did was because of love. 

I decided that will be my reaction to this – love. I don’t want folks who think Charlie Kirk deserved to die to unfriend or unfollow me. Trust me, if you truly feel that way, you need the same Jesus I did when I was locked in discord, unrest, hate and fear. He is the only one who can truly heal our hearts. Anything the world or other “religions” might have is fleeting.

Nothing and no one heals like Jesus. 

Will I pray for the Kirk family? Yes! I know the sting of sudden death and whether it’s through violence or accident, the venom that comes from that sting is every bit as painful. They’re going to need every single prayer any of us can muster during this time.

I will pray for my country and when I do, the words “conservative, Democrats, etc…” will not come from my mouth. We ALL need Jesus and he’s not interested in our politics.

He’s interested in our souls.

I will do my best to love like Jesus at all times, and I know I probably need to do better moving forward than I’ve done in the past. 

I will no longer be silent but instead, I’ll ask the Holy Spirit for the right words to say at the right time. 

I’m not going to worry if people want to leave my life because I choose to be uncompromising in the face of a world determined to make sin a way of life. 

But if you do choose to leave my life, know that I love you and I will never stop praying for you and you cannot stop me from praying for you. Know that Jesus is real and really loves you and you cannot change that either. You also cannot stop it anymore than you can change the FACT that he died on a cross a horrific death because he loved you just that much. Know that if you were the only person on the face of this earth, he STILL would have gone to the cross for you. 

I would suppose there are many who feel as I do in this moment. Let me urge you not to be counted among those who would sow discord. I know we’re grieving and angry but let me urge you to be mindful of your words and be guided by the Holy Spirit when you do speak. But also do NOT be silent. That time has come and gone. Do not let your souls be lukewarm anymore. This world is hurting. This world is dark. It needs the Jesus in us to be a light. 

So go….be a light. Be Jesus to the world. 

It’s all about Jesus anyway. It always has been. It is now. It always will be. 

I love you ALL and I’m praying for all of us.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Posted in Moments and Musings

Storms are My Favorite

This morning, I took Percy for our usual morning walk. Multiple storms had come through the area two nights ago making the ground soft and wet. As we walked to the park, I thought about storms and how they relate to life. Storms come and they go and while they’re here, they change everything they touch, if only for a moment.

We hung out at the park for a good long while before heading home. I looked up at the sky. To my left, it was partly cloudy. To my right, dark clouds still loomed. But then, directly above me, the sun broke through. It made the raindrops hanging on to the leaves look like diamond drops. All the trees lit up, bright and green. I could almost hear them sighing in the aftermath of a terrific shower.

We started to walk home and I noticed these mushrooms on the side of the walk. Such growth in such circumstances. Beautiful, delicate and perfect in their own way. They grow just as they’re supposed to.

Percy wandered on the grass, also glittered by the sun. Looking up again, I found the clouds to my left dispersing. Bright blue patches became bigger and bigger as the clouds retreated.

I think about my life in these moments. How many storms I’ve weathered. How many times I focused so hard on the dark clouds to my right that I neglected to see the sun shining above me. How many times God has waved His hand, dispelling the dark while giving me blue skies and diamonds on leaves to focus on.

He has never let me down. He has never left me. Like the sun follows the rain, every storm must end and when it does, the earth is left cleaner, brighter and ready for something new.

New growth. Like the mushrooms, something beautiful with raw edges growing in the seam where concrete meets the earth. I’m most alive during these times. Most in tune with God and most grateful. God isn’t absent in the storms but very much present during them. Afterwards, He paints the sky in rainbow colors, symbolizing His promise and its unfailing power.

What God has promised, He is faithful to see it come to pass. (Romans 4:21)

Maybe that’s why storms are my favorite. I love to see the endurance of nature and how it survives. I love the new growth. I love the freshness of it all. I love how it reminds me that I am never too old to be made new for this earth is very old and she is made new every time it rains.

Thank you, God, for each and every storm. Thank you for being with me during each one. Thank you for my rainbow afterwards. Thank you for mushrooms in the morning, for diamond raindrops, glitter in the grass and blue skies that chase away dark clouds.

Posted in Moments and Musings

February 2025

When I started out with this idea of posting a monthly life update, I didn’t mean to be so inconsistent. However, here I am, almost four months later, and just now finding time to write again.

I’m not going to try to backtrack too much. My family enjoyed a lovely Thanksgiving and a quiet, comfortable Christmas. 2024 ended with a bang as I was involved in my first car wreck since my early twenties. I spent most of January dealing with the fall out of that.

God is so very faithful! Even when we are not. I still feel so undeserving of his total provision and yet, this car accident is proof of that very thing. Provision! I spoke it out immediately. I believed it immediately. God has surpassed by expectations.

And He’s not done yet! There is still more to come!!

At the beginning of February, I held a baby shower for my baby girl and her husband. My home filled to overflowing with so many folks who came out to celebrate. Of course, my anxiety and perfectionism kicked in causing me several panicky moments. (Oh, when will I ever learn!) My sister and niece came up from Tennessee and it was such a blessing to have them here! I love it when we can be together!

Emilie and Ben were blessed multiple times over with so many gifts. My sister, who has organized corporate parties, helped me with the food. My stepmom brought a lovely fruit tray, and we had perfect weather. What a wonderful day for them!

We finally got some winter weather in the form of about 4 inches of snow and a couple ice “events”. I love snow but I love it most on the weekends when I don’t have to go out anywhere. As a Midwest girl, born and raised, I know how to drive in the snow and I’m not afraid. However, I don’t like others who drive in any bad weather like they’re in a hurry to meet Jesus. It doesn’t help that I’m also still suffering from some residual trauma from my accident so driving has its challenging moments on dry pavement, let alone in slippery conditions.  

I purchased a new car – I had to, really, as my other car was totaled. But I’m loving my new car, and I plan to pay her off and drive her until bits and pieces are falling out behind me. She’s a 2022 Hyundai Sonata and she’s a comfort car! Definitely one of the most luxurious cars I’ve ever owned so I’m very happy with her. Again, God’s perfect provision!

On a financial note, I’ve waged war against my debt. I don’t have a lot of it but what I do have, I’ve decided to put as much as I can towards getting it paid off. I’ve been using Dave Ramsey’s snowball method and already have paid off 2 credit cards! I have one more to go and then a small personal loan (I know, it’s a complete no-no!). Money has been on my mind lately as I’ve put some big goals into place. While praying about it, I felt God challenge me to go big in my giving and go even bigger in my faith.

So, God told me to ask BIG. And I did. I’m 56 years old. I want to retire when I’m supposed to and when I do, I want the house that I just bought last year to be completely paid off. I want to own nothing to no one. No house mortgage. No car payment. I want to be completely debt free by the time I retire.

Creatively, I struggled just a wee bit. I have way too many incomplete projects and more ideas and plans than I can shake a stick at. I also have a deficit of knowledge where some much-needed technology is concerned (like Procreate and learning to read crochet patterns). I allowed it to all bash me about mentally and put me in a bit of a funk. So, I took a weekend off from crafting, put my phone down (no Pinterest) and did some reading. I haven’t spent a weekend with a book in a really long time. It felt really good to get back into the old groove and even better not having a crochet needle in my hand, if only for a little while.

I read The Crow Trap, which is the first of the Vera Stanhope books by Ann Cleeves. It’s a long read as Ann doesn’t rush when introducing her characters. In fact, the character of Vera Stanhope isn’t fully realized until you’re almost halfway through the book. It was very good and, after finishing that, quickly picked up the next one in the series called Telling Tales. Again, it didn’t take me long to get through it. All in all, I was pleased to have my reading mojo back.

I can’t tell what helped me creatively more, reading or not spinning through Pinterest. I think I might give myself a social media break for lent and just refocus a bit. More God. More Word. More ideas. More finishing what I started. That’s a big goal for me for 2025. I don’t mind having a few projects going at once, but I have many more than that at the moment and it’s starting to grate against my anxiety. Too many tabs are open and I need to close a few.

After another long really cold snap, we’re finally warming up. It’s giving me Spring vibes in a huge way. This is the time of year when I count down to when the clocks turn back, and I wait for the snow to melt, revealing an ugly brown carpet of mud and dead grass. Spring is an ugly time of year as far as I’m concerned. However, I’m ready to put away the heavy coats, scarves, hats and gloves in favor of rain jackets, umbrellas and Wellingtons. It’s time to come out of hibernation, get out in the sunshine and take some walks. Already, I’ve noticed new blooms on the trees and increased birdsong. I can’t wait to sit outside and soak it all up.

February ended on a super high note! And you can read all about it here! I’m absolutely in love! God is so very good. And this next season of my life is about to be the best yet!

Photo courtesy of Glen Carrie via Unsplash.com

Posted in Moments and Musings

October, 2024

October has been a crazy month. Just like the weather, which has been up and down and all around, so has life.

I did manage to get away for a short trip to Tennessee to see my sister and her family. No matter how long or short, it’s never enough time. There’s always so much I want to share with them. Cook for them. Make for them. Show them. And it’s never enough of anything. I always leave feeling fulfilled and yet wanting more.

Tennessee was beautiful and I loved seeing my sisters’ house. The weather was perfect, and I really enjoyed sitting in her enclosed back patio watching the dogs play. Always such a treat and a very relaxing mini getaway.

The drive down and back was actually quite delightful. I’m not a fan of long drives but my sister blessed me by letting me take her Tucson. I must admit, it’s a sweet ride. There was plenty of room for Shelby and I and all our stuff. All the hum dings and doo dads a car can have. I chose an audio book for the drive there and back since I knew Shelby would immerse herself in Shelbyville via her ear buds.

In other news, I turned 56 this month so happy birthday to me!

It’s still very weird being on this side of 50 years old. I don’t feel like I’m in my 50s most days. I still feel young. I still dream about the future and what I want to be when I grow up. I still make big plans at a time when most people are settling into what will be for the rest of their lives. That’s just not me. I’m still perusing the college websites in the off chance I want to finish my associate degree. I still feel like I have my whole life ahead of me.

My first born also celebrated turning 27 years old.

We went to Olive Garden for dinner the following Friday where she ate her fill of salad and pasta. I love this girl beyond words. I love her fierce loyalty to her family. I love the way she does anything her aunts ask her to do. I love the relationship she has with them. She does well with her little life. She doesn’t desire to do anything other than work and play any one of her video games. She’s one of the smartest people I know and mixes wisdom with common sense easily. She makes my life sparkle.

Autumn has finally arrived with all it’s wonder and vibrant colors! This is my favorite time of the year! The first frost. The chill. The crispness. The smell of fireplaces. Pulling out the sweaters and leggings and other comfy clothing. It’s all so very magical. I love getting the blankets out, giving them a good wash, and laying them out on the sofa. Books full of magic and folklore appear on coffee tables and the most common indoor smell is cinnamon. I love it all!

Two other important events happened.

The first one is Shelby and I were able to get out early to vote. I’m so ridiculous because it is just voting but I always leave the polling place feeling proud and hopeful. If my choice doesn’t win, I’ll not despair. It’s not about Trump or Harris anyway; it’s all about Jesus and no president-elect can change or affect the plans God has for me. Jesus is still King and His Kingdom has no end.

The other event was substantially less nationally important however, to Shelby, it was critical to the success of the Halloween season. And that was pumpkin carving! I haven’t carved a pumpkin since the girls were little and my mom was alive. She made those times so special, making her wonderful vegetable soup and homemade biscuit rolls. There would be apple tarts for dessert, and she would help Shelby clean and roast the pumpkin seeds for a snack later on.

Here’s how it started….

….and here’s how it went…

We knew the second we put them outside that they would become food for the local squirrel council and the chipmunk population of Orland Park. We weren’t disappointed.

As for my monthly goals, I did pretty well. I lost another 6 lbs., bringing my total to 14, which isn’t too bad. I also did the majority of my Christmas shopping and came in way under budget. I’ve planned out the rest of the year crochet-wise, including finishing this huge monster of a blanket that’s now on my bed.

Yes, October, you were wonderful, and I thank you!