Posted in Moments and Musings

Seen, Known, and Included

This past Sunday, my church held one of those services that stays with you long after it ends. It was a time of anointing with oil, prayer, and words spoken over individuals—words filled with encouragement, affirmation, and God’s tenderness. Even watching online, I could feel the weight and beauty of the moment. The Holy Spirit doesn’t recognize distance, after all.

Because I live more than an hour away, I attend church virtually. I’m grateful for technology, but I’ll be honest—there are moments when watching from a screen can stir a quiet ache. I’m not physically in the room. I’m not standing at the altar. I’m not being anointed or prayed over in the same visible way. And yet, this Sunday reminded me of something deeply important: God is not confined to buildings, stages, or proximity.

As each person went forward and received a word, I found myself rejoicing with them. Truly rejoicing. I felt joy rise up as I watched my brothers and sisters be seen, encouraged, and loved. And then I noticed something else—something subtle but significant.

There was no jealousy in my heart.

That realization stopped me in my tracks, because it hadn’t always been that way.

There was a time when moments like this would have been painful for me. I would have smiled on the outside while quietly shrinking on the inside. I’d think, Why not me? I’d convince myself that God must have forgotten about me or placed me on some invisible list of people who were just… missed. I believed blessings were handed out to those who were better, stronger, more faithful, more put-together.

I assumed I simply didn’t measure up.

But as I watched and rejoiced this time, I sensed God’s gentle voice speak into my heart—not loud or dramatic, but kind and sure:

“Yes, daughter. Take those words for yourself. I know your heart. I see you. What is being spoken over them is for you too.”

I can’t fully explain what that did to me.

In that moment, it felt like God reached right through the screen and straight into my soul. He wasn’t correcting me; He was inviting me. Inviting me to receive without striving. Inviting me to stop disqualifying myself. Inviting me to believe that His love and affirmation are not scarce resources.

Scripture tells us, “The eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him” (2 Chronicles 16:9). Not those who are perfect. Not those who are visible. Not those who live closest to the church building. Those whose hearts are His.

For far too long, I’ve carried a quiet belief that something about me was fundamentally wrong. That “wrong” followed me like a shadow. I assumed I was always falling short, always behind, always watching others receive what I could only hope for. I compared myself to people who seemed to do everything right, who always had answers, who never appeared to struggle.

But comparison is a heavy burden, and God never asked us to carry it.

Thankfully, that is not how God works.

God does not measure us the way the world does. He does not withhold goodness until we perform well enough. He is not waiting for us to fix ourselves before He loves us. Scripture reminds us, “But God shows His love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

That truth changes everything.

I am not seen through the lens of my failures, my doubts, or my past. I am seen through the blood of Jesus. Because of Christ, I am fully accepted, fully forgiven, and fully loved. “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace” (Ephesians 1:7).

There is no hierarchy in God’s family. No favored children and forgotten ones. No inner circle and outer edges. We are all equally known and deeply loved.

“For the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6).

What a comfort that is.

What a gift it is to realize that God sees the quiet ones, the unseen ones, the ones watching from a distance. He sees the heart that longs for Him. He sees the tears no one else notices. He sees the faith that keeps showing up—even online—even from far away—even when it feels small.

And He calls us His.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are” (1 John 3:1).

If you’re reading this and recognizing yourself in these words—if you’ve ever believed that blessings were for everyone else, that you were somehow overlooked or forgotten—I want you to hear this clearly: you are not invisible to God. You are not an afterthought. You are not disqualified.

Sometimes the words spoken over others are also an invitation for us to receive by faith. To say, Yes, Lord, I’ll take that too. To believe that what God is doing in the room, He is also doing in us.

You are seen.
You are known.
You are deeply loved.

And in God’s Kingdom, there is more than enough grace to go around.

Posted in Moments and Musings

Doubting Thomas

Our story begins in John 20: 24-27 NLT

One of the twelve disciples, Thomas (nicknamed the Twin), was not with the others when Jesus came. They told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he replied, “I won’t believe it unless I see the nail wounds in his hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound in his side.”

Eight days later the disciples were together again, and this time Thomas was with them. The doors were locked; but suddenly, as before, Jesus was standing among them. “Peace be with you,” he said. Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and look at my hands. Put your hand into the wound in my side. Don’t be faithless any longer. Believe!”

I remember as a child reading these verses in school and thinking how bad Thomas was for not believing. Actually, that’s how it was taught to me. The nuns would stand over us with their pointer sticks telling us not to be anything like “Doubting Thomas” or else…..

So, I judged Thomas, just as I was taught to do, for his imperfections. I boasted within myself saying, “I wouldn’t have acted like that. I’d have been better. Done better. Acted better.” I spent years sitting on my self-righteous throne, tarnished crown on my head wondering if we’ll meet Thomas in Heaven someday.

But I wasn’t there over 2000 years ago. I didn’t see the one I called Teacher and Messiah die a violent and cruel death. I don’t know what it’s like to walk away from that experience filled with fear and doubt, possibly running and hiding for my life. I don’t know the confusion of seeing him alive only 8 days later.  

I’ve been studying this recently and found myself focusing more on Jesus’ reaction to Thomas’s doubts. Jesus didn’t judge Thomas. He wasn’t mad. He wasn’t disappointed. He wasn’t discouraged. Others in that room might have. And I sure did for a very long time.

Jesus didn’t. He loved him. And I imagine Jesus knew Thomas would give him the side-eye treatment. It was no surprise to Him so He was prepared. He responded as a only a Savior would – excited for Thomas to believe and wanting him to know beyond all knowing, deep in his heart of hearts, that Jesus was real and He was alive. 

So, unlike how I was taught, when Jesus tells Thomas to feel his hands, feet and side, it wasn’t an admonishment; it was an invitation. Full of love. Full of forgiveness. Full of faith enough to cover Thomas’s unbelief. 

I believe Jesus was so full of joy that He welcomed showing Himself to Thomas. And He was thrilled when Thomas accepted His invitation and believed. 

What a wonderful, loving, faithful Savior we have!

Photo by Jackson David via Unsplash