Category: Moments and Musings

Posted in Moments and Musings

Out of Darkness and Into the Light

Posted on by Vikki Lynn Sorensen

We made it! Daylight savings time has begun and this girl doesn’t even mind losing an hour of sleep for more daylight.

Like many others, I tend to suffer from some seasonal depression. I had hoped to head it off at the pass by doing some extra holiday celebrating, watching my diet, being more active, journaling – I had a whole laundry list of things I planned to do to stave off the winter blues.

It didn’t go so well.

I did do some extra Christmas celebrating but much of the season was spent alone. Sometimes, I think I go through this stuff to give me perspective and create some empathy. I’m not very good at keeping in touch with people yet I know there are folks who also were lonely during these past holidays and I did nothing to alleviate that. Perhaps, I’ll do better next time around.

I did watch my diet….go right down the drain. Boredom drove it. Too much alone time begets too much boredom time which begets the consumption of way too much chocolate. All delivered by multiple Walmart delivery drivers who, I’m sure, gathering in hushed places to pray against me putting in another order.

I did journal. Some handwritten scribbles in a small journal that I keep. Each entry ended with the number of days until the next exciting event in my life.

Oh, it wasn’t as bad as all that!

January brought us some nice snow storms and an ice storm, which was fun. I learned the new meaning of anxiety driving in those.

Speaking of…when did I get to be so afraid of driving in the snow. I’M FROM CHICAGO!!!! I learned to drive in the snow. I managed my first ice storm driving from the north side of the city to Schaumburg. It took four hours but my mother sat alongside me and coached me the whole way. Somehow, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve understood the financial impact accompanying the phrase “car accident” and a few drops of moisture on the road means this girl stays home.

Thank God I work from home!

February started out really icy. I mean double digits below zero icy. Lots of tea and hot chocolate were consumed. Lots of coffee, too. I went into sort of a hibernation, on the couch, underneath covers with only my hands free to type enabling me to keep my job.

But then it got warm. Really warm. Not turn-my-AC-on warm (almost, though – if only I wasn’t too lazy to clean it!) but warm enough to turn on my fan and pull out a pair of shorts and a tank top. I wasn’t ready for this! I mean, I still need to mow down the winter forest growth on my legs that kept me warm all winter! Percy, my little canine heater, couldn’t understand why I didn’t want him sleeping up against me.

Too warm for February!!

And by the way, people in the north who cry over cold weather and snow in February should have their heads examined – it’s February. Winter! It’s supposed to be cold and it’s supposed to snow! What it’s not supposed to do is get up to 70+ degrees!

Sheesh!

Even the tulips outside the main doors to my apartment building began emerging from the ground. I wanted to throw a blanket over them and say, “wait, little ones! It’s not time yet! Too early!” but they continued to wriggle their way into the world.

They’re half grown now and I expect buds any day.

February’s exit confused me. The unseasonal warmth brought too much hope and too much wanting for Spring. The bright, sunshiny days lifted my seasonally dreary spirits and I began to think strange thoughts like, “Today is great day for a nice long walk”. Well, strange for this couch potato body, anyway.

Ah well. One thing I did do well during this dark season was create. That was on my list. I made blanket after blanket after blanket. I tried new recipes, some were hits and a few were misses. I journaled ideas and plotted and planned and even rediscovered my love for embroidery.

So the season wasn’t a total loss.

If I’m being serious, it wasn’t a loss at all. All this quiet time and alone time has given me perspective. To say the season was a loss would mean I’m ungrateful which I’m not at all. Everything has a reason and a season and I always love to see what God does through and with it all. He’s just the best ever!

However…WE MADE IT!!! Daylight savings is here! Light is here! Days are longer! Tulips can grow! And yes, I’ll shave my legs before I put shorts on again and I will take that long walk!

SPRING FORWARD!

Photo by Jitendra Sharma on Unsplash

Posted in Moments and Musings

Move With Me: 7 Weeks to Go

Posted on by Vikki Lynn Sorensen

While my closing date is 3/22, my moving date will be slightly delayed. My two sisters will move into the house immediately after closing but we need extra bedrooms for Shelby and myself to be constructed in the lower level of the house. Plus, we need to live out our lease here in our current apartment.

Nevertheless, the packing has begun!

We’re seven weeks out from our tentative moving date of 4/27. This date is special because on 4/27/18, I lost my mother unexpectedly. This year will be the 6th anniversary. Typically, my sister, Kathleen, and I would go to her grave with some water and paper towels. We’d clean off her gravestone and then pull any weeds surrounding it. Just make it nice and pretty.

I wanted to remember this day with joy instead of only sadness and grief so we’re going to have a new beginning of a different kind – a joyful kind.

At this point, the purging is almost complete. That’s step one in this long process that will most likely go by much quicker that it will feel. I really do not want to pack stuff that I will then unpack only to donate.

If it doesn’t bring me joy now, out it goes!

I did most of the kitchen last week. I have no clue why we ever owned so many coffee mugs! Shelby doesn’t drink hot drinks at all and Emilie only drank tea on occasion. Yet, we gave away about 20 coffee mugs! I also gave away two stacks of small dessert dishes and a set of pudding bowls.

I also did a purge of my books. What I didn’t want went to Half Price Books. I made $39 dollars, which I used to treat Shelby and I to some dinner and Dairy Queen. But my books are packed along with my Build-A-Bears.

Yes, I collect them. They’re adorable and it’s the of the few things I can share with Shelby.

So once the purging is complete, the goal is go through each room and pack what I don’t need to see or use for the next 7 weeks. And that’s the challenge. There’s something inside of us that feels a little panic-y when we put something in a box and seal it all up. I have to remind myself that I WILL see it again.

Weird!

Purging is hard, however, even for someone as non-sentimental as me! After so many moves in my life, I’ve learned the value of letting go of stuff while holding onto the memory or the feeling it gave me.

My mother also helped. By the time she passed, we had a whole basement full of stuff she wanted to keep “just in case” up to and including information from houses sold long ago. Boxes of paperwork from a business she hadn’t had in years and years….so much stuff! In the midst of loss, it’s overwhelming to have to go through that much stuff. So I’ve learned to make memories. And crochet a blanket or two to wrap those memories up in.

I did pack 90% of my yarn!! We’ll see how that goes. The real test will be not buying more yarn these next 7 weeks.

Decisions, decisions!

Posted in Moments and Musings

Moving to a New House

Posted on by Vikki Lynn Sorensen

I BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!!

On March 22nd, my sister and I will be closing on a lovely end-unit townhome we bought together. I haven’t been a homeowner since 2004 so this is very exciting for me! Finally, a home where I can put paint on the walls!

Two kitchens! A fireplace located in a lovely loft. Oak wood finishes that are in perfect condition and best of all, only 2.5 miles away from my dad and stepmom.

So exciting!

But also, a lot of work! My sister and I will be merging households which also puts a new spin on this. While she’s mostly packed, I’m still in the purging phase. I text her a lot of pictures that usually have the caption of “do we need this?” or “do we need two of these?”.

This house will only be the second I’ve ever owned. (I don’t count the one I bought with my now ex-husband because my name was no where on it.) And it will be my 20th move overall! Hopefully, this will also be my very last move.

So, let me invite you on this journey with me!

Photo by Brandable Box on Unsplash

Posted in Moments and Musings

This New Season

Posted on by Vikki Lynn Sorensen

A few short years ago, both my girls were planning to get a place of their own. I sat looking through apartment listings (just for fun), looking at one-bedroom places and dreaming of how I would decorate it without any input from anyone else. I pinned meals “for the single gal” to my Pinterest page and thought about how grand it would be to have the whole TV all to myself.

I could do what I wanted when I wanted. The ultimate single life.

We moved in here and shortly after, Emilie got married. And then there were two.

Emilie has always been my “big idea” girl. Big dreams. Bigger plans. So full of sparkling conversation. She outwardly expresses everything and this lead to hours upon hours of endless chatter. She filled my days with talking. I honestly can’t remember a time in her life when she wasn’t talking. So many late night talks, some full of fear but most filled with faith and a lot of tears.

But Shelby isn’t like that. She doesn’t have huge dreams.

Shelby works an overnight job and sleeps during the day. She has her own set of nerdy friends she prefers to spend time with, which is very normal for a girl like her. I want to give her that
space. I don’t want her to feel like she’s her mother’s entertainment committee. The few times she’s decided to spend her day with me has been a gift and I’ve made the most of it. Her big ambition right now is to work, make some money, and play video games with her friends. Even when she is with me, she’s quiet. There’s never been a ton of conversation that’s
happened between us.

So, my home when from being loud to being very quiet.

In the beginning, I took advantage of it. But it wasn’t long before conversations with Jesus
turned into mindless chatter with either myself or with the dog. (He doesn’t ever engage. He usually just licks himself and finds a new comfortable space on my chair.)

Now, that season is ending. I just bought a house with my sister. And my other sister (there’s four of us girls in my family) will be moving in with us along with Shelby. My very quiet, boring existence is about to be replaced with conversation and activity once more.

I can’t wait!

Moving to my current home was a huge blessing. We moved right in the middle of 2020 from a super small apartment to this one. My old apartment was only a mile away from the home we shared with my mom for 12 years. It was the home that healed us from a painful divorce. It was my mother’s house and for 12 years, we were secure and stable.

Then we lost her and everything changed.

The two years we spent in that first apartment after she died were so full of grief and pain and adjustment and just emptiness. We had no family nearby. My girls and I clung to each other and together, we held onto Jesus. But that grief – it was so hard to heal. I remember when we moved into this place, it almost felt like I was leaving my grief behind. So much closer to my sister, this place gave me breathing room, and not just literally.

It changed everything.

Being close to people who I loved and who loved me was the healing balm I needed. We healed together, in a way. God blessed us so much in this place and in this current season.

God gave me this season and I have not squandered it.

But now it’s time for the next step in my life. To go back to living in a space where I can put color on my walls and have my own laundry (it’s the little things). I won’t just be close to family; I’ll be living with family and closest I’ve been to my dad and stepmom in decades.

The challenge now is to stay in an attitude of gratitude. I’ve got just under 2 months until we move into our house – hopefully, our forever home.

Seasonal transitions are hard because the closer you get to the new season, the less tolerant you are of the season you’re in. It’s easy to get edgy and start to dislike what once was a blessing.

I’m determined not to let that happen to me. I love my home. I love every minute here. And before I leave, I want to pray over it, touch each wall and walk its floors one more time. I want to leave a bit of Jesus here. I want the next family to feel peace, love, comfort, and healing when they want through the door – just as I did.

When I get to my new home, I’ll do the same. Touch the walls. Walk the floors. Speak Jesus to it all. This home was a home of healing but the next home…that will be a home full of joy!

Photo by Tierra Mallorca on Unsplash

Posted in Moments and Musings

Welcome, 2024!

Posted on by Vikki Lynn Sorensen

Happy 2024!

I don’t know about you but 2024 sure looks different than what I thought it would look like when I was a kid. I remember sitting in my classroom, drawing pictures of flying cars and robots doing laundry. We may not be there just yet but we are in this primitive form of Star Trek era with watches that make calls for us and phones that connect us globally. But one thing hasn’t changed – New Year’s resolutions.

Personally, I don’t like making resolutions. They’re nothing more than broken promises made to myself. So I don’t do that. Change, however, is a different matter. And this year, I’m going to try to be a woman of change. (insert diabolical laugh here)

So, 2024, let’s get after it! Here’s my list. Let’s see if anything sounds familiar to you (or maybe inspirational?)

  • Eat better – I mean, who doesn’t have this as a goal. In fact, this is a lifelong goal of mine. The quest to change my eating habits – eat more veggies, less carbs, less sweets, lather, rinse, repeat. But still, I have to put it on the list since I’m sincerely wanting to make better choices. And I’d like to do more research to be more intentional about my food choices.
  • Move more – Another goal that’s sure to make everyone’s list. However, I’m going to leave this open-ended. The idea is to move more but not necessarily set time limits, number of days, etc…just get up and move. Walk. Dance. Run. Stretch.
  • Pray/Bible study – I’ve never been consist with either, to be honest. I mean, I talk with God a lot so that part is ok (could be better, though). The Bible study is a hit or miss and I have plenty devotionals. Hopefully, this year is the year I make it through at least one. (I’ll let you know.)
  • Spend less – So, let’s talk about this one. I don’t live an expensive life. I live in a small apartment. Utilities are pared down as much as I can. I don’t work outside of the home so I don’t need work clothes and I have stuff for church. But I do like to buy yarn for crochet projects and embroidery stuff. I have whole roomful! So I’m making the decision not buy anything more until I use up what I already have. I also need to spend less on eating out. I have budgeted a healthy amount for groceries but sometimes, laziness and boredom drive me out of the house for food unnecessarily. I plan on changing that and being more intentional with my money and be more intentional about saving.
  • Create more – I don’t know how creative I’ll be with crochet. Not sure I know how. But I do want to learn to draw and create my own embroidery designs. I want to be fearless. I want to create and see where it takes me.
  • Call people – I’m so bad at this but I want to get better. I’m more comfortable with texting or using apps to connect with people but it’s not always best. I need to pick up the phone and call more. Bottom line.

Now for some real talk – change takes time. I plan on giving myself some grace when I fail, and there will be times of failures, set-backs, etc. But I think it’s time I finally let myself off the hook for being one of the most imperfect people on the planet. (I know that comes as a shock to those of you who know me personally.)

What changes are you looking to make in 2024? Drop a line in the comments and let me know!

Photo by Walls.io on Unsplash