Posted in Moments and Musings

My Christmas Carol

Driving around, taking care of some errands the other day with my daughter, Shelby, and she turned on some Christmas music. The Little Drummer Boy by the Harry Simeone Chorale came on. I was instantly transformed to being 10 and sitting alongside my mom in the car listening to her sing along. This was always her favorite Christmas carol.

This year marks the 5th year celebrating the holiday season without my mother. I miss her. I miss her excitement at having the family together. I miss her making her grocery shopping lists only to still go up and down each aisle “just in case I forgot something”.

I miss her voice. Her presence. Her very nature which turned my house into a home for so many years. I miss the way she’d have a story to tell about the ornaments we still put on our tree. I miss her stuffing, which is famous in my family. (This is my first year making it without her.) I miss her eyes lighting up at the idea of a night filled with Christmas movies and a bit of hot cocoa.

I commented to Shelby how much I hate having this love/hate relationship with the holidays. I love this time of year so very much. The cold weather. The fireplaces. The cinnamon. The cookies. The tree. Family gatherings. Dad’s magic Brandy Alexanders and “religious experience” cookies. I love it all!

But I hate that she’s not here. And so much has changed for me this year. My daughter became a wife and my mother wasn’t here to see it. I’m getting my life ready to buy a house which is something I haven’t done since I was married. So many changes, big and small and she’s not here for any of it. Somehow, I feel it more acutely at Christmas time.

People say, “this is life and you have just keep moving forward” and I do. Lots ahead. Grandbabies to come some day. A new home to build. Family outings and trips to take. That’s in addition to the day to day living I get to do quite comfortably surrounded by the love of my family.

So this year, like the 4 behind me and the many ahead of me, I’ll hold her memory tightly to my chest and let it be a salve to my heart. I’ll put up the tree. Make her stuffing. Hang ornaments, both new and old. I’ll pull out THE family cookie recipe and make a batch or two with Hallmark Christmas movies playing on the big screen.

And I’ll remember her, over and over again. Yet in the midst of the pain, there will be peace.

Who knows? I just might pull out one of her silly Christmas vests she used to wear.

Yes, I know it’s blurry but this was the best Christmas photo I have of her.
Posted in Moments and Musings

Is Your TV Haunted?

Anyone who knows me knows I love this time of year. I love the crisp chill in the air, the smell of burning firewood and cinnamon-flavored everything. (I say cinnamon because pumpkin is way overrated and I want to bring cinnamon back. I said what I said!) 

Halloween is big around here. We even have a black cat, which the dog thanks us for on a daily basis. (Maybe!) My apartment is all decked out with ceramic ghosts, jack-o-lanterns and black cats all over. There’s pumpkins everywhere!! We even have a small Halloween tree. Pretty much anything Hobby Lobby and Wal-Mart have to offer in the way of decorating is in my home. (Yes, I’m a Wal-Mart girl!) 

So, in the spirit of the season, I thought I’d share a few of my favorite Halloween movies/series sure to put the ghost in your TV and make you sleep with the lights on a night or two. Don’t worry – I’ll help you choose ones to watch with the family and which ones to wait until the kiddos are in bed. (These are in no particular order)

  1. It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown – Definitely fun to watch with the kids. No jump scares. Just a boy with his blanket in a pumpkin patch. I’ve loved this movie since I was a child and, at 55 years old, I still watch it each year. I believe in the Great Pumpkin.
  2. The Haunted Mansion (circa Eddie Murphy) – Another one that’s fun for the whole family. Gather on the couch with the biggest bowl of popcorn you can and enjoy! Only one jump scare and lots of laughs. 
  3. The Haunted Mansion (circa Rosario Dawson) – I’ve only seen this one once so I can’t remember if there’s any jump scares. It may be too intense for the super younger crowd. Strong themes of grief and loss but much closer to the actual Disney World ride. Very enjoyable. 
  4. The Craft – Not recommended for tweenagers or younger, in my opinion due to some very intense scenes. Witchcraft is a major theme in this story but this is a cult classic that cannot be ignored at this time of year. 
  5. Poltergeist – Not recommended at all for kids as there are a few jump scares and scary scenes. Also, the subject matter is way over their head. However, it is excellent to watch with all the lights off at night. Go ahead, I dare you!
  6. The Haunting of Hill House – This is a Netflix miniseries. I wouldn’t recommend it for tweens and younger. Some teens may be able to handle but there are strong themes of addiction and suicide. There are ghosts EVERYWHERE, lots of jump scares and it’s an incredible story. Keep a box of Kleenex available for the last episode. 
  7. The Haunting of Bly Manor – Another Netflix miniseries again not for the kiddos. Themes include LGBTQ+ among others. Several jump scares but the backstory is my favorite part of this whole series. Every good ghost story starts with a good story of something tragic that happened in the past. This delivers that history quite well!
  8. Crimson Peak – Now, as a story, this isn’t high up on my list. However, if you’re looking for gothic romance/horror, this delivers. It’s a visually beautiful film with a little ghost story sewn in. Some minor gore. There’s also some nudity and a quick sex scene so not for the younger crowd at all. But – Tom Hiddleston. Need I say more? 
  9. Twitches 1 and 2 – Let’s get back to stuff the kids can watch. These two cheese-soaked Disney movies are super campy but loads of fun. Strong family themes and excellent for post trick-or-treating on Halloween night. You know, after the costumes are all put away for another year and the candy has been thoroughly checked. Safety first! 
  10. Hocus Pocus 1 and 2 – More fun for the family. I honestly was skeptical about Hocus Pocus 2 but it was absolutely adorable! There’s even a black cat that talks. If that’s not fun, I don’t know what is! 

Of course there are others that I didn’t include but are just as worthy, like the entire Harry Potter series but these are really my top ten watches. (Harry Potter is something I watch year round.) Not a Halloween goes by that I don’t curl up on my chair, with my fluffy, fleece tie blanket and a mug of tea and tuck into these movies. 

Happy Haunting! 

BTW – This idea was shamelessly stolen from my sweet sister, Liz, over at http://dippedinsparkles.blog/

Posted in Crochet

Shelby’s Blanket

I no sooner finished Emilie’s blanket and got her married and all settled when Shelby asked me for a blanket for her bedroom. She wanted red/white/black colors. I went through a few Pinterest posts before settling on the one I chose which was a simple granny square blanket.

This was created using Red Heart Super Saver yarn in cherry red, black and white with a 5mm crochet hook. Each square is 18 rounds and I made 16 squares. I sewed them together and used a granny square stitch as a border. It’s huge! And she loves it! As always, I washed the blanket in Woolite in order to soften up the yarn a bit. Low heat, of course.

Posted in Moments and Musings

Time To Change

The time change is coming. Turning back the clocks, gaining that one precious hour of sleep if only for one night. We’ll pay for it come the Spring but for now, every one looks forward to that one glorious hour. It’s an important thing, this hour.

It’s that hour that pulls the darkness of the winter forward pushing back the light. In the darkness, the earth will reset itself. It’s a quiet, reflective time. Time to rest, stay indoors and just breathe. Time for hot chocolate, cinnamon tea, soft blankets and cozy fires.

For me, I both love and dread this time. I require light and a lot of it. For years, I’ve struggled with a bit of seasonal depression. It’s a slight feeling of gloominess. Fall beauty starts to fade, giving way to a colorless, monochromatic time. Evenings become a little harder to get through than in other seasons. I find, as I get older, that I’m more of a skylark than a night owl.

This year will be different than others that have gone by. The menopause blues like to have a swipe at me now and again. And with my younger daughter married and living three hours away and my other daughter working an overnight job, I’m alone…a lot! Add that plus a time change to the menopause blues and it’s a triple whammy ending in many tear filled evenings.

But I recognize all this so I decided to do somethings to try to head this all off at the pass.

  1. More movement – I really don’t like walking around my beautiful little lake because there’s bugs and there’s snakes. Not poisonous but they’re there and I’m good staying away. So I bought a hula dancing DVD. I needed something that would be good for me but also be fun. I may look for more dance DVDs. I’m sure I’ll look like a buffoon but I’ll be up, I’ll be moving and I’ll be having fun.
  2. Journaling – I’m back to it and it makes me happy to write down my thoughts and feelings. It also helps me to look back and see how far I’ve come.
  3. Bible Study – This is a no brainer. More God, more peace. I remember when my mom passed and I sat down on my bed, dejected and said, “Ok, God, I cry ‘uncle’.” God immediately spoke to my heart and said, “Stop crying ‘uncle’ and start crying Father.” He is the great encourager and I go to a church full of happy, imperfect people. I plan to be one of them.
  4. Celebrate the season – I mentioned earlier this is the time of the year when the earth resets itself. I’m determined to do the same. Reflect more. Go deeper. Let go. Seek to find. God is in every season.
  5. Create – I find I’m more contented when I’m creating something. Crochet isn’t just the means to another blanket in the house; it’s the process of allowing my hands to do something other than eat while my brain engages in a different way. I look at the world a little differently. I overcome the habit of perfection when I’m crafting.
  6. Call – As in pick up the phone and call people. More conversations mean less loneliness.
  7. Enjoy My Food – I don’t subscribe to a diet. I never have and never will. Food is to be enjoyed. Plain and simple. I’m going to experiment with new recipes and new techniques using my hands, like bread making.
  8. Light My Home – I love candles. All kinds of candles. And I love candle holders. Bright, crystal or glass holders that reflect the light from the candle. And while I use flameless candles, my preference is real candles. (Unscented, please)
  9. Selfcare – I really think all the above is selfcare in one form or another. But some things I’d like to be more intentional about. Giving myself a facial, or a manicure. Something that makes me feel pretty.
  10. Hallmark Christmas Movies – Too early? That’s ok. They’re full of cheese and ever so predictable but each one puts a smile on my face and makes me happy. It helps me to focus on all that’s ahead, like lights, color, family, food and giving.

The very last, and probably most important, thing I’ll do is remember that this is only a season. It’s not forever. Like every season, it will end and a new one will be welcomed. Also, like every season, it has a purpose and definition.

So tell me – do you love or strongly dislike this time of year when the days grow shorter and darker? Or are you indifferent? Do you celebrate anything special, outside of the obvious? What does any change of season look like to you?

Photo by Emanuel Ekström on Unsplash

Posted in Crochet

Emilie’s Blanket

As soon as my daughter told me she was engaged and had a date to move out, I know I’d make her a blanket. The C2C stitch was chosen by her and she asked for a gentle, neutral color to match any decor in her new home.

I chose Red Heart Jumbo Saver yarn in soft white. I used a 4.5 mm hook and created her very first homemade keepsake item to start her life as a Mrs. I washed it in Woolite to soften it up and gave it to her on her wedding day.