5 Steps to a Prayer Life

Have you ever struggled with praying? Have you ever thought to yourself, “am I doing this right?”

Trying to pray “the right way” is something I’ve struggled with all my life. I would sit in a room, timer on the table and list in front of me of things I felt obligated to pray for. 

I prayed more for results than relationship. Insert a coin, get a prize. I approached prayer in the same fashion. Insert a prayer, get an answer (maybe). 

Joining a church meant praying in a group. I would break out in hives at the idea of being called upon to pray aloud. I wasn’t good enough, didn’t have the right words to pray and always felt like I didn’t know enough of the Word to pray. I would spend prayer time comparing myself to Sister Sally Sue who got at least 5 rounds of solid “amens” when she prayed. I would pray more to hear a “yes, Jesus” just to prove I wasn’t a bad pray-er. 

And of course, Satan used this over and over, repeatedly telling me, “See, you’re not as good as they are. God loves them more than He loves you.” 

Friends, can I tell you a secret? That’s not a relationship with God. That’s religion. 

Imagine my joy at finding a small group of women at my last church who humanized the idea of prayer for me. They were intimate with God and it made me desire that for my own life. And guess what? When they prayed, it wasn’t perfect. They stumbled over their words, they stopped to gather their thoughts, they laughed and cried and even said the word, “um” once or twice. It dawned on me that their “imperfections” were actually conversations. 

They were having a conversation with God. 

So, I stopped trying to be perfect. I stopped treating God like a gumball machine and I stopped trying to get “likes” when I prayed out loud in a group. Here’s 5 simple steps to get you on the road to a prayer life that produces relationship. 

1. Read the Word. If prayer is a conversation, then we must know the One we are conversing with. Knowing who God is and what He’s about helps us to understand more of what the conversation will be like. John 1:1 says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” 
2. Ask God to help you pray. God’s Word is all we need to get help in every situation, including prayer. John 14:13 encourages us to ask for help. It states, “Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do…” So if you need help knowing how to pray, just speak that verse and relate it to prayer. 
3. Be yourself. This is probably the most important one. I fell into the comparison trap and lost precious time with God. I tried to copy the prayer style of others. God knows all about you. He wants a relationship with you on a one-on-one level. There’s nothing we can hide from Him. So stop trying to be like others and you do you in your prayer time with God. 
4. Start simple. You do not need to thee and thou your conversation with God. He knows you! He wants to hear from YOU! If you’re stuck on where to start, just thank Him for who He is and all He’s done for you. The rest will follow, I promise! 
5. Be honest and real. When my mom died, I went to God and let Him know I didn’t understand Him or His plan in this. I was so upset and in so much pain. I cried out to Him out of complete fear and anger. God was a total gentleman and He said, “Vikki, I hear you. I love you. I won’t leave you. You can either move forward with me, or without me. With me will be so much better but the choice is yours.” (Yes, God is that real with me!)

There are days when I start out in prayer. There are days when I end in prayer. There are also days when I say little prayers all day. Sometimes, I talk to Him as a wife would to a husband and sometimes, I talk with Him as a daughter would to her father. Most often, I talk with Him like the best friend I know Him to be. 

Through all this, I’ve learned this is what it means in the Bible when it says “Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.” (1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18, The Message)

So without fear, I encourage you. Find your spot. Get your cup of coffee. Grab your blanket. And talk with Jesus. I guarantee you, friend – Jesus cannot wait to hear from you! 

Let me know in the comments how it goes. I’m praying for you!