Day: May 10, 2022

Posted in Moments and Musings

My Compass

Posted on by Vikki Lynn Sorensen

Today is my mama’s 83rd birthday. While we celebrate here on Earth, she’s celebrating in Heaven. 

We lost her 4 years ago. It seems strange to say “we lost her” when truly, she was never lost. We were at times, and like any great mother would do, she always managed to bring us home to her. 

In her home, there was so much! So much love. So much support. So much patience (Lord knows, we put that to the test time and time again). So much of everything we needed…at the right time…in the right amounts. 

She wasn’t always perfect. She made mistakes. With each one of us. It was ok. She learned. Then we learned. 

From her. 

I had this life before “we lost her” which was full of so many things – like her hugs which were always waiting for me after a difficult day. She didn’t have all the answers. She didn’t need to. She would just envelope us in her arms, dry our tears and then point us to the one who did have all the answers. 

Jesus. 

My mom was a Catholic. She defined and personified fierce faith. She didn’t pray to Mary or the saints. She didn’t have to. She knew the One who held her in His arms. She knew Who had all the answers. She knew where her help came from. And she relied on that like it was her very breath. He was her breath. And her heart. And her song. Her comfort and her wisdom. 

When didn’t know the way, she’d go to Him. Then she would wait. That was hard because she was a survivor, a fighter, a fixer and our mainstay. She was our port in any storm. 

We didn’t “lose” her. She transitioned. I know. I was there. I watched and I held her hand as she took leave of her earthly body. I’ve dreamt about it. I’ve mourned it. We all have. 

She left behind a legacy. A quintet of fighters and survivors. We’ve each had our struggles but we’ve found our way. Some of us are still looking and that’s ok because we’re on a forward path and in a forward motion. We won’t give up. Because she’s part of us and she never gave up. 

Neither will we. Because we are hers. And ultimately, we are His. Bought with His blood. 

I’m so selfish. I wish she was here. I wish she could not just see all I’ve accomplished but share in it. I would love to hear her opinion on `the little things’ like my job, how I’m thisclose to being financially independent, the home I’ve built for my girls and I, and so much more. I want to show her all of it. Then I want to sit on my couch and have a long, long chat. Just she and I. Then I want her to hug me. One of her famous hugs. The ones that never end. The ones that encourage me and give me hope. 

So Happy Birthday in Heaven, Mama! And thank you for everything you gave me. But most especially, thank you for being my compass and always pointing me to Jesus. 

I love you forever.

Photo by @songkat
Posted in Bookish and Bingeable

Three Muses

Posted on by Vikki Lynn Sorensen

By: Martha Anne Toll

Three Muses is a love story that enthralls: a tale of Holocaust survival venturing through memory, trauma, and identity, while raising the curtain on the unforgiving discipline of ballet. In post-WWII New York, John Curtin suffers lasting damage from having been forced to sing for the concentration camp kommandant who murdered his family. John trains to be a psychiatrist, struggling to wrest his life from his terror of music and his past. Katya Symanova climbs the arduous path to Prima Ballerina of the New York State Ballet, becoming enmeshed in an abusive relationship with her choreographer, who makes Katya a star but controls her life. When John receives a ticket to attend a ballet featuring Katya Symanova, a spell is cast. As John and Katya follow circuitous paths to one another, fear and promise rise in equal measure. Song, Discipline, and Memory weave their way through love and loss, heartbreak and triumph

NOTE: Thank you to Netgalley and Regal House Publishing for an eARC in exchange for an honest review. This review may contain spoilers. 

Three Muses takes you on a journey through time. It’s also a journey through the lives of Katya Symanova and John Curtin, both broken, both haunted, seeking to find their place and purpose in their worlds. 

This book starts out as two separate stories. We meet Janko, later known as John, a small boy given up by his mother to the Nazis hoping his talent for singing saves his life. As he sings for those who killed his family, a chasm forms deep in his heart separating him from his love for song. Upon rescue, he travels to America where he is placed in the care of a family who recently lost their son in the war. They become his replacement family and he becomes their replacement son. He adopts the name of John Curtin and becomes a psychiatrist. 

John was my favorite character in this story. I loved how his first patient really was himself. He’s shy and courageous and respectful and so kind and he’s all these things while dealing with PTSD from WWII. I love how we get to see his transition from a scared little boy to a young man trying to please his new American family and finally, into an adult. John struggles to understand the meaning of love in all its selfless facets until he meets Katya, who helps him understand that to love is to sacrifice. 

The other story is Katherine Sillman who is gifted with ballet lessons after her mother’s death. As she grows into a proper ballerina, she catches the eye of the choreographer/composer, Boris Yanakov, who changes her name to Katya Symannova, putting the curtain up between her and everyone else in her life but him. As he grooms her, she becomes entranced with him and by him. 

Katya is probably my least favorite character in this story. While we do see a beautiful character arc and wonderful development, I cringe at the idea of any woman losing herself in a man to the degree Katya did. She allowed him to rob her of everything, her friends, her family (in a way) and finally, her relationship with John. He literally chains her to him for the duration of her life. It was sad to me to see her disregard warnings from her friend, Maya, and completely forget she even had a father. She only remembers him when he gets hurt and needs help. 

I also found her to be a little self-serving in her relationship with John. He said she gave him a lot when he said she gave him back his Papa. However, I can’t really see where she gave more than he did. The deception of it all was upsetting also in light of her relationship with Boris. John was too sweet to hurt that way. 

I will always always love when authors take their time telling a story. It’s a gift to be able to do this without making the book too long or causing it to lag in places. I didn’t have any fault with the pace of this book. It picks you up and takes you on this lovely, very visual, highly emotional yet gentle ride. I felt all the feels. And the language, the imagery was simply stunning. 

I loved how the two stories converged and then disconnected with only the very smallest tether left at the end. Wonderfully written. 

My rating: :star: :star: :star: :star: :star: